You Want My Help? Sure!
Many naturals can talk hair all day and those of us that are fairly new, sometimes feel the urge to “educate” everyone around us about the joys of being natural. It’s not necessarily that we are trying to convert everyone (well, maybe a little bit), but that we just want to share the joy, freedom, or whatever we are feeling about our own natural journey with everyone around us. We want others to be able to experience what we have experienced. Plus, it is very exciting and empowering to realize that “hey, I can really do this!” We have to be careful, however, not to push our views on others. Too much pushing, and we will actually push those around us away. I never want those around me to roll their eyes when they see me coming and think “oh, brother, here comes Colleen with another hair lecture series.”
Although, I am enjoying my journey, I never want my friends to feel pressured to have to do the same. I have to reign myself in the same way I do with food talk. I’ve learned over the past couple of years that a person has to really be ready to make a commitment to change their food habits in order to be successful. The same is true about natural hair. A person has to make that decision for themselves and really be ready to make a commitment to it in order to be successful. I can talk until I am blue in the face about why fad diets are only good for the short term, and how a person has to make a lifestyle change and change their food habits…yada, yada, yada. If that person is not ready to make a commitment, all they are going to hear is womp, womp, womp like Charlie Brown. I will be met with excuses like “it’s too expensive,” “I don’t have time to cook,” “I don’t like the way healthy food tastes,” etc. The same is true about hair.
I have learned to keep my chatter about hair and health to a minimum and speak through actions and results. I have lost weight, gotten off of all of my medicines and my hair looks healthy and fly. Sickly Colleen no longer catches every cold and bug that goes around. As a result, people are now coming to me to ask me questions about health and hair and how and what I am doing. Just the other day, my special friend asked me if I would make him something to help keep his hair moisturized. When we first started dating, he had locs that were past his shoulders. He had told me that he had been thinking about cutting them because he was ready for a change. So I guess he felt inspired after I cut off all of my hair to do so himself. A couple months after I BC’ed (big chopped), he BC’ed his locs. Although he has always been supportive of my hair journey, I think he thought I was being a little extra with my research and experimentation. I could see his eyes glaze over just a bit when I would start explaining. As it started to grow out and flourish, he definitely took noticed. He has told me several times that he loves my hair and now he wants me to help him with his as he grows his out. He doesn’t know what he is in for…I’ve already whipped up some of my shea/cupuaçu butter mix, black soap shampoo and Kimmaytube leave-in to give to him!